Small Town Hearts
by sallyreads
Summary: Bella Swan has been through it all, including being abandoned by her mother as a child. Bella's one wish in life is to escape the small town she calls home, until she meets someone who makes her want to stay.
1. Prologue

This is the first story I've posted since I was a sophomore in high school. It hits close to home. Be gentle with me.

I do not own Twilight, though I did once own a sweet black lab named Buster.

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I'll never forget the first time I saw her. It was a hot, summer day in mid-July, sweat visible on my face. I was trekking through the woods behind my house accompanied by my childhood best friend, Buster. If I'm being honest, he was the most loyal friend I've ever had, though he passed many years ago. I'm not a religious person, but I would like to think if there ever were a Heaven, dogs would be the first to go. Buster and I had been roaming for hours, stopping to inspect deer tracks that had been left from only a day or two before, and other things like that. Despite how many times we had made that same hike, he and I were always in search of something new, of the next big adventure.

We had just come up on a neighbor's old barn when I heard Mama calling my name. She had a tendency to do that when I was about to get into something fun. I rounded up Buster and we started our way back to the house. I thought of all the reasons Mama could be calling me back so early, as it was only mid-afternoon, the sun barely starting its descent from the sky. I expected her to yell for me at dinner-time, our normal routine, but because it was still so early, I wondered the whole way home.

When I finally made it out of the woods and into the beginnings of the back yard, I squinted my eyes, trying to see if there was anything out of the ordinary that could clue me in to what Mama's problem was, but everything appeared to be as I had left it. Daddy's truck was gone, meaning he was still slaving away, wielding his hammer. My Daddy was a carpenter, and he built houses with a man named Jenkins all around the county. Sometimes he was lucky enough to get a job out of state, but it wasn't an often occurrence. Times were tough around here for the little man, and real estate took a plunge a few years back; Daddy struggled to put food on the table, but I knew he tried. The tan on his skin and roughness of his hands said he tried; said he was honest too. I wasn't really old enough to understand it yet, but Daddy had warned me of men who didn't have rough hands. If a man had soft hands, it made you wonder how often he used them. It made you wonder if he'd ever driven a nail or changed a tire, even. If a man has soft hands, it makes him hard to trust; at least, that's what Daddy says.

I went into the house and found Mama in the kitchen, standing with with two suitcases and puffing away on a cigarette. I swear, she'd look a lot prettier if she'd quit those things, but I don't think she cares. She stopped caring about anything a long time ago. You see, my Mama was sad; that's what the doctor said anyway. He also says I've got a temper problem, but what does he know? What I do know is that my Mama spends half her time laying on the couch in her pajamas when she should be washing mine and Daddy's clothes and cooking our meals, and other stuff mama's are supposed to do. Instead, she does a lot of sleeping and it makes me mad. It makes Daddy mad too. He doesn't think it's fair that he works all day and can't come home to a good plate of food prepared for him by his wife. I don't think it's fair either, but I try to stay out of it and go into another room when they have it out. Sometimes if I put my hands over my ears and scream loud enough, it drowns out their fights. Other times, I march right in the room and tell them if they don't shut up, I'm leaving.

One time, I did leave, and it made me the saddest I've ever been. I took Buster with me because there's no way I would've ever survived on my own. I packed myself a bag filled with a water, a sandwich, a flashlight, some paper and a pen, and I was out of there. I stayed gone 'till dark, but there came a point when I couldn't ignore Mama's hollering anymore. She'd yelled for me until her voice sounded all raspy and I could tell she was crying. I imagined her sitting there on the back porch steps, tears falling down on her face until they went in her mouth. She cried like that a lot. Like she was too sad to even wipe her tears away, she just let them fall wherever they wanted to go. I thought about her sitting there like that and I came back home. Mama and Daddy apologized, said they'd try to do better and let me sleep with them that night, even though I was much too old to be sleeping with them, and the bed was way too small.

Mama finally put out her cigarette and asked me to sit at the kitchen table. She sat down next to me and took a deep breath. I thought if I'd just smoked a cigarette, I'd need to take a big breath too. Except I learned quickly after that, she wasn't taking a deep breath because she needed to breathe. She was taking a deep breath so that she could rack up the courage to tell me she was leaving. When I asked her where she was going, she wouldn't tell me, but said she needed to go. I asked her if I could come along and she said no, that I needed to stay home. She told me to be brave and take care of Daddy, and before I could tell her I didn't know how, she was standing up and grabbing her bags. I started panicking then. My heart starting pounding so fast, I thought it would beat right out of my chest. I followed her out the door and watched her throw those bags into the car. Buster was sort of growling at her and I didn't really understand why. I didn't understand anything that was going on. Before I knew it, Mama was kissing me on the head and telling me goodbye. I could tell she was about to cry because her voice cracked when she said my name. I watched her back out of the driveway and take off down the road. It was then that I felt the tears that were burning down my face, falling right into my mouth. I walked inside to the bathroom, feeling paralyzed, and stood in front of the mirror.

I couldn't believe who I was seeing. The girl in the mirror had wild, impossibly curly brown hair. Her lips were red and swollen from the hot tears that were making trails through the dirt on her face. She was thin, with little scrapes and bruises all over her arms and legs from bike wrecks and briars that licked at her limbs as she walked through the woods. What caught my attention was her eyes: dark brown pools of sorrow and anger. At that moment, I realized I wasn't seeing myself. In those eyes, all I could see was my mother. From that day on, my mother was no longer, "Mama." She was "Renee."

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Thanks for reading.

-sally


	2. Welcome to the Dark Side

I'm beyond thankful and amazed at all the follows, favorites, and reviews. Every time my phone alerts me to a new email, I get a sweet feeling inside. A little bit of a heads up... This story takes place in "Pine Cove" which may or may not be a real place in North Carolina. I made up the name (unless of course it already exists) to go along with the story. This whole writing and posting chapter by chapter thing is still new to me, so we're all on the same little journey of wonder here. Once again, thank you for being here.

I do not own Twilight, though I am a Carolina girl.

* * *

 _Nine years later..._

I've been dreading today. Out of all the things to volunteer me for, Daddy had to choose this. It's because I'm good at it, he says, but I can't help but think he's trying to make me a little more social, even if it's only with a bunch of six-year olds. What seventeen-year old girl actually _wants_ to spend her day surrounded by a crew of snotty kids? I'd bet you wouldn't find many jumping at the opportunity. Today is the day of the Small Town Throwdown, (cheesiest name ever, I know) an annual festival that takes place in the heart of Pine Cove, an itty bitty little dot of a place on the state map of North Carolina. That's right, I'm a Carolina girl, best in the world and all that crap. Truth is, I'd rather be anywhere but here. But instead of sitting somewhere dreaming of where else I could be, I'm reading books to a bunch of kids sitting around me in a semi-circle while their parents are off gossiping and spending money on who knows what.

Pine Cove spends a lot on this festival each year because most of us don't ever get to do anything better. You'll see kids licking on ice cream cones, getting more on their face than in their mouths, women getting their fortune told by some wrinkly old lady who's supposed to be older and wiser than thou, and men and women both lining up for, dare I say it, the kissing booth. Yeah, I said it, and it's the most disgusting thing you'll ever see. Lauren Mallory's mama signs up to run that thing along with Mr. Banner, the biology teacher at my school, every single year. It makes me wonder why anyone ever comes back to this thing. You see, Lahuren's mama is rumored to have been through more men than she has panties in her lifetime. It's a wonder we don't give out condoms at these things instead. And don't get me started on Mr. Banner. I've been trying to figure out for years why it's okay for a school teacher to kiss half the men in this town's wives. I guess things like that happen in small towns, more reason for me to want to escape this one. It's a good thing it's only early June because I sure would feel awkward having to sit in his class come Monday morning.

I'm currently reading "It Looked Like Spilt Milk," you know, the book where the white shape changes into other stuff before you figure out it's really a cloud? I'm reading that to these little kids, but I'm thinking about how good a cone of ice cream would be and that's what makes me decide to take a break when I finish the story. Angela Weber, the closest person I have to a friend, although we've only hung out a few times, takes over for me while I get a breath of fresh air. She enjoys books like I do and we're always in the same English class, so I guess we were pretty good picks for the job.

I walked over to the woodworking stand where I knew my Daddy would be. He and his friends Billy Black and Harry Clearwater run the same stand every year. They each bring their chainsaws and big cuts of logs and carve them out into different things that some people end up buying, but most of it is just for show. One year, Daddy did a carving of Buster and it looked so much like him that it made me cry. If we hadn't been in public, I think Daddy would've cried too, after all, he missed our buddy just as much as I did.

Buster and I took our last hike a few years back, but if I thought about him too much, the wound from his leaving would feel fresh all over again. I always have to remind myself that he got his big break, made it to somewhere nice, with plenty of table scraps, girl dogs, and other things he liked all at the tips of his paws. He got out of here, and someday I would too.

Right now, it looked as though Billy was working on carving out some sort of fish. He had a pretty good audience, they always did. I found Daddy standing off to the side.

"Hey there, Woodchuck!" I always called him that when he had to work this thing. "Looks like y'all have picked up quite a few onlookers this year."

"We sure have, Bells." Daddy was always calling me that, though my full name is Isabella Marie Swan. A fancy name for a very un-fancy girl. I go by Bella, but being a Daddy's girl, I enjoyed his endearment. "How's it going with the kiddos?"

"Pretty good. I handed them over to Angela for a bit. I thought I might get me a cone of ice cream. Think you can spare a buck or two? It's only fair; I wouldn't really be here if it weren't for you."

"Don't pretend you're having fun or anything for my sake, Bells." One thing I could always count on Daddy for was sarcasm. "Sure, I guess, since I didn't really expect you to make it here this long." He handed me a five dollar bill and I was on my way in search of creamy vanilla goodness.

Since he handed me a five, I thought I'd splurge and get a chocolate-dipped cone. I thought myself mighty deserving of some sort of payment. I finally found a stand that had soft-serve ice cream, and it just so happened to be a stand I didn't recognize. I've been coming to this same festival every year since I was four years old and it was a rare occurrence to see something new. Though as I stood before it, I knew I'd never seen the Cullen Creamery ice cream stand before. It was sort of ostentatious, what with its brightly colored new paint, and stood out like a sore thumb amongst the other stands and booths that were faded from years of exposure to the blinding rays of the sun.

I walked up to the stand feeling sort of joyful thinking these people had to be new in town, and being new in town meant they wouldn't know who I was, or most importantly, who my mother was. Living in close corners meant everybody knew everybody and no one didn't stay "no one" for long. Word would get out about you somehow. It got out about me a long time ago.

It's not often that I like to think about Renee, but it is often that people around here like to remind me I look just like her. You'd think they would give Daddy and I more privacy, since no one really enjoys thinking about sad stuff and all, but people around here don't have anything else to talk about. All they can talk about is what everyone else is getting into. That's one of the reasons why I refuse to go to church. All they ever do in church is gossip about the people sitting in the pews next to them or across from them or beside them. I'd rather not be there. I figure if I'm not there, it gives them less of a spark to talk about me and if they do, they'll just have to make something up because they haven't seen me in a while.

It was there, standing in that ice cream line thinking about all the things I hated about Pine Cove, that a flash of copper caught my eye. Pulling myself from my thoughts, I looked past the people in line in front of me to the counter of the booth. Standing there, was a tall boy with hair messier than mine, if possible, smiling at a little girl and her mother as he handed the little girl a cone of strawberry ice cream. From what I could tell, the mother, who looked like Mrs. Cope, the secretary at school, was utterly dazzled by the boy and his heartbreaking smile. Who could blame her? He was gorgeous, excruciatingly beautiful-definitely not from around here-and his smile was dangerous, just begging for us all to come to the dark side. After all, he had ice cream.

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Thanks for reading.

-sally


	3. Saying No to No Ma'am

Thanks again for the reviews; they mean more than you know.

I do not own Twilight, but I do love a chocolate-dipped cone.

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You ever have those days where you're driving, lost in your thoughts, and when you finally break free of them, you look around and realize you haven't paid any attention to where you were going for the last, who knows how long? It's like your brain's on autopilot and you're getting where you need to go without even having to think about it. You know you had to have stopped at a couple stop signs or something, swerved for a squirrel, or at least you hope you did, but you don't actually remember making a conscious decision to do it? Well, right now I was having one of those moments. I get the feeling I am anyway, because the copper-headed boy is waving his hand in front of my face, and I don't even recall the people in front of me getting their order taken. I don't know how I got here in the front of this line, in front of this beautiful boy.

"Hello? Listen, Miss, are you okay?" He was looking at me all concerned and whatnot. His dark eyebrows were furrowed over the deepest green eyes I'd ever seen, like two four-leaf clovers staring back at me, because I was sure feeling lucky... Until I realized I'd been standing there all star struck and open-mouthed. I felt my face heat up quicker than a cast iron pan.

"Yes! Yes, I'm okay! Sorry, I just don't think I've seen y'all around before. Your ice cream stand, I mean." I mentally slapped myself. Might as well have asked him if he came here often.

"Well, no, I suppose you haven't. We just moved back into town a couple weeks ago. Arrived all the way from the big state of Washington. My family and I like it here, though, and my sister and I will be starting school here in the Fall." I could have stood there and listened to him talk all day. It was kind of funny though. I would've expected him to talk like a Yankee or something, coming from somewhere up North, but I guess I couldn't get past the way his lips moved when he talked to really think about how he sounded. He did say he just moved _back._ Wonder how long he'd been gone.

"Oh, well that explains a lot. Sorry about earlier, I'd just like a chocolate-dipped cone of vanilla ice cream please."

"Alrighty then." He seemed a little put off that I didn't offer anymore to our conversation, but I didn't feel right asking him lots of questions, especially since there were others in line behind me. I also figured the less he knew about me, the better. He'd hear about it soon enough anyway if he was going to my school in a couple months. It never takes long. He came back to the counter, my ice cream in tow, and handed me my cone.

"That'll be two dollars please, ma'am." Now that made me look at him all funny.

"Ma'am? You've gotta be close to my age, if not older! This might be the South, and your manners are lovely and all, but don't be calling me Ma'am. If you like, you can call me Bella. I reckon you'll be knowing my name soon enough if we're going to go to school together." Suddenly, he gave me one of those toe-curling smiles and I thought for sure I'd pass out right there, except that wouldn't be good because I'd probably hit my head on the counter on the way down or something crazy like that. You could say I'm a walking accident waiting to happen. I swear I couldn't walk a straight line without falling. Daddy says it's a Renee trait, just one more thing to thank her for.

"Okay. That'll be two dollars please, Bella." One side of his perfect mouth was turned up at the corner; I could tell he was entertained by my little rant. I handed him the five Daddy gave me and he got my change real fast. His fingertips grazed mine and I swear the boy shocked me! The new pretty boy in town is electric! He's probably not even real! That would explain a lot. There's no way humans are born that pretty. It's just not natural. "Here's your change. You'll have to let me know later how your ice cream was."

"Thanks, um, I didn't catch your name?" Am I hitting on him? I'm not hitting on him, right? I don't even like boys! I mean, I like boys...I've just never _liked_ one before. I mean, I did tell him my name. It's only common courtesy for him to tell me his.

"My name is Edward, Edward Cullen." He gestured to the Cullen Creamery sign. "It sounds like an old man, I know, but I'm stuck with it." Somehow, I thought it fit him perfectly.

"Well, thanks for the ice cream, Edward, and thanks for my change. Have a good one!"

"You too. See you around, Bella." When I finally walked away, you would've thought I'd been standing at that counter for half a century by the way the people in line looked at me. I felt my ears get all hot from their gazes, but I put my head down and kept going. That was something I was good at. I reckon we were having quite a little chat though, so I guess I see their concern. Come to think of it, I don't think I've had a conversation like that with anybody around here in a long time. I mean, it wasn't often that I talked to people without daydreaming or wanting to scream or something else loony like that. I didn't put too much thought into it though.

Later that evening, after enduring an entire day of being around Pine Cove's best, I laid in bed while reading "The Catcher in the Rye." Man, that kid was crazy, but it made me feel a little bit better about myself. That's the thing about books: when your reality isn't exactly what you'd like it to be, you can always pick up a book and go somewhere else. I'd like to think I'm traveling the world, one book at a time. I roamed until the words carried me off to sleep.

And that night was the first of many that I dreamt of Edward Cullen.

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Thanks for reading.

-sally


	4. Stranger Danger

As always, I'm super thankful for your reviews, especially those of you who have shown your love more than once. Y'all are what keeps this story moving!

I do not own Twilight, but I do own a pretty sweet pair of Chacos.

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I woke up Sunday morning feeling more tired than I had when I went to sleep. You ever slept so hard that it felt like work? I walked downstairs and saw Daddy had left a note saying he was going fishing with Billy, meaning I had the house and a full day to myself. Since it was only 9:00 and I still felt exhausted, I decided to lay back down for while. I tried as hard as I could to fall back to sleep, counted sheep and all, but all I could do was lay and think about the dream I had the night before.

The dream started out real nice. I was just a little girl, maybe about six or seven, and Buster and I were taking a walk to the creek. You might be wondering why my parents would let me do such a thing by myself at that age, but the creek was maybe only a quarter mile behind my house. We didn't have many neighbors around here except for a big house way back in the woods past the creek that I've never walked to, and I've always been pretty independent, being an only child.

So we were walking down to the creek and had almost made it down to the water when Buster stopped walking beside me. Suddenly a line of hair stood straight up along his back and his lips curled back from his teeth. He let out a low growl, making me stop right in my tracks. I knew something was up because Buster was real protective of me, so I started looking in the direction he was staring to see if I could spot any trouble. When I looked across the creek on the other side of the bank across from us, I saw a little boy sitting with his back up against a tree. He was holding a fishing rod with a line cast out down into the water. He looked to be about the same age as me, but I'd never seen him before, which was odd because it seemed like everybody knew everybody around here. His brown hair was awfully familiar though, so I called out to him.

"Hey, what's your name?" I said.

He looked over at me and I watched his nose scrunch up. "Noneya." Well, he sure was one for conversation.

"I ain't never met nobody with a name like that. My name is Isabella, but if you're nice, you can call me Bella. Now come on, what's your real name?" Since he didn't seem like any sort of threat, I walked to the edge of the bank and sat down. Buster was still a little wary so he laid down beside me.

"My Mom told me I'm not supposed to talk to strangers, and you look pretty strange to me." Man, he was turning out to be a nice one.

"I told ya my name is Bella, meaning we ain't strangers no more. It's not my fault you're being stubborn and won't tell me yours." Suddenly, we heard a woman's voice calling out.

"EDWARD! EDDIE BOY, IT'S TIME TO COME HOME! DINNER WILL BE ON THE TABLE IN FIVE AND YOUR HANDS BETTER BE WASHED BY THEN!" By the way his eyebrows rose, I knew the woman was calling out for him.

"Looks like you better be gettin' while the gettin's good, _Eddie boy_. I'd say it was nice to meet ya, but you haven't been too nice." He stuck his tongue out at me and reeled in his line. "Better be careful on your way back!"

"Whatever, Bella-Buttface! Bye!" He took off running through the woods and I could feel the steam coming out of my ears from his little nickname. After that, the dream ended.

It didn't make sense that the little boy in my dream was Edward, as he and I only met for the first time yesterday. It also didn't make any sense at all that I dreamt about him in the first place. Maybe that ice cream was spiked.

Knowing that I wasn't going to come to any sort of conclusion from a dream, I got out of bed and took a quick shower. The sun was shining brightly so I thought it would be a good day for a hike at Hanging Rock. Daddy didn't really approve of my going on hikes alone, wishing I would take a friend along, but I had to remind him there would never be a better hiking buddy than Buster. Besides, it was nice to be alone and focus on the sounds of leaves and twigs snapping beneath my feet. I couldn't think of any noise more comforting.

After pulling my Chaco straps tight and filling my Camelbak with water, I got in my old red Chevy pick-up that had been a sweet sixteen gift from Daddy and made my way up the mountain. Despite the fact that someday I wanted to make it out of Pine Cove, I had to admit that I was lucky to grow up in a place so easy on the eyes. There's nothing like Summer in North Carolina. Heck, there's nothing like any season here. I don't know of many places you can go that'll have seventy degree sunshine one week and snowfall the next. Sometimes it's a pain, but it makes things exciting. I enjoy the surprises Mother Nature brings. Right now, everything was the perfect shade of green, reminding me of a certain pair of eyes I immediately pushed out of my thoughts. When I finally made it up the long and winding road to the park, I chose a spot under a tree so Ol' Red wouldn't be so toasty when I got back.

I decided to take a long trail today since Daddy wouldn't be back until later in the evening. When he and Billy got together, it was hard to tear them away from one another. Billy's wife passed away a few years back, and since then, he and Daddy have become real close. I can see how since they're both dealing with being single fathers and all, so I figure they need the bonding. Billy had a son named Jacob and sometimes he would come to dinner at the house whenever Daddy invited Billy over. He was a few years younger than me, maybe a sophomore in high school by now, but he went to another school in the county, making our schools big rivals. As far as I know, he's not too into sports and stuff like that, spending more time working on cars, sort of the way I am with books. It makes me feel better about being anti-social knowing I'm not the only one who doesn't care for that sort of thing, and it's comforting for Daddy too. He's all the time worried that I'm too reclusive and that someday I'll regret not making more friends, but ever since Renee left, I knew someday I would too. The less attachments and people to miss, the better. If high school is supposed to be the best time of our lives and all, I'd say the people who came up with that did something wrong along the way.

When I made it to the creek on the trail, I stopped for a drink of water. I sat down on a stump and admired all the stacks of rocks people had made who had also been on the trail. Most of them were flat and piled eight or ten rocks high. I thought I'd pitch in and began looking for my own in the creek. The water was cold but felt good on my skin seeing as it was about eighty-five degrees. It was pretty humid out, but the shade from the trees made the walk along the trail a little more bearable. I was trying to stack my own little rock tower when I heard someone else coming up on the creek behind me. Instinctually, I put my hand in my pocket and locked my fingers on my pepper spray, just in case. Being a young girl in a state park, you can never be too careful. It was when I saw the person break through the trees that I knew I had no reason to worry.

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Thanks for reading.

-sally


	5. Fallin' for Ya

Hi, everyone! Once again, thanks for all the attention you're giving me. You're my inspiration.

I do not own Twilight, but I do enjoy a handsome man in gym shorts. ;)

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One glance at his full form and I thought surely I had died and gone to Heaven. He was tall, but not overbearingly so. His body was lean, with toned legs that were partially covered by a pair of silky, and seemingly thin, black gym shorts. Even through his gray t-shirt, I could see how defined all the muscles on his torso were. It was as if his body were sculpted by Jesus Christ himself and he was sent here as my life's big test, just daring me to sin. And for the first time, I could see myself doing just that with the man interrupting my peaceful afternoon. Did I really meet him just yesterday? It seemed like forever ago, as my body was clearly unprepared to take him in all over again. As he continued walking towards me, I tried-but failed miserably-not to ogle, and watched recognition flash across his face when he noticed my presence. _Here we go._

"Bella? Chocolate-dipped cone girl with a tendency to zone out? Is that you?" Lovely. He remembers me.

"I'm sorry, Edward? Man with a name that would be better fit for my pops, is that you?" I couldn't help but smile. There was something about this boy, and it wasn't just his good looks.

"Hey now, easy with the teasing. It is you, though. I can tell by the smart mouth." He was giving me that cocky little smirk that said he was enjoying everything about our conversation, especially getting me riled up. I wasn't going to let him have all the satisfaction though.

"Smart mouth...hmm.. Well, I reckon that's better than having a dumb one. What're you doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same question. What's a girl like you doing out here on a trail all alone?" He was being playful, but I could tell there really was concern behind his eyes. That's just like a man to think all of us women are helpless. We're all just damsels in distress waiting to be saved by some knight in shining armor.

"I hike alone all the time, but don't worry, I carry pepper spray in case any sort of stranger wants to pick a fight." I gave him a challenging look.

"Who are you calling stranger? You and I are on a first name basis." He looked at me with a smile that said he was winning our little fight and he liked it.

"I'm not calling you a stranger, per se, because I don't think you're worthy of pepper spray. I think that would be kind of cruel of me after you fixed me up with that ice cream yesterday...but I am saying that we don't really know each other all that well." There. That was true, wasn't it? I watched him process what I was saying and saw a flicker of nervousness flash across his eyes before they lit up and across his face came a mischievous grin.

"Well, I have an idea. Since you're hiking alone, and I'm hiking alone, and I think myself too much of a gentlemen to let you go on without me, or without someone at all, why don't we just finish up this hike together? Then, my conscious will be clear, knowing you made it out okay, and we can get to know each other as we go." He finished with one of those smiles that seriously had me contemplating whether I was about to pass out or not. I didn't even know what to tell him. I wasn't sure I could survive another two miles with this guy if he made me weak in the knees with only five minutes of conversation, but I also didn't see a way out. I was pretty sure by the way he was staring at me he didn't want me to either.

"I'm guessing this is one of those situations where you're giving me an option to make me feel like I actually have a choice, when really I don't at all, but you're hoping I'll side with you anyway? That way, you won't have to force me." I watched his face morph into his tell-tale smirk.

"You'd be guessing correctly, _ma'am_ , I mean, _Bella_. You'll have to forgive me. My mother has really driven manners and proper ettiquite into my brain over the years. Always treat a woman like a lady, and never be late for dinner. Or anything else. Anyway, can we get going, or not? We've got a lot of ground to cover in the next little bit."

Despite the fact that every bone in my body was telling me to find a way out, to somehow avoid being alone with this enigmatic boy who had some sort of interest in me whether I was willing to let myself believe it or not, my heart told me to go on with him. It had been long since I let it tell me what to do, and all the hope in me was praying I wouldn't regret it.

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I learned very quickly that Edward was a talker, which worked out just fine for me, as I wasn't. I'd like to think myself a good listener, feeling more content being on the outside of conversations, taking time to analyze both parties' responses, but that was hard to do when Edward was practically interviewing me at the moment.

"Do you always ask this many questions when you meet someone new?" We had passed the basics-age, school, hobbies, etc. I learned that Edward was an outdoor enthusiast, much like myself, but that he was far more experienced in the area than I was. He and his family took annual camping trips and explored every outdoor activity Washington state had to offer, it seemed. He also enjoyed music, very much so, and it turns out he can play the piano. I told him I'd never picked, strummed, or played an instrument in my life, but I did enjoy music as well. It didn't take long for me to realize that Edward was quite driven, and that the things he did were with passion or not at all. He was a charmer, if there ever was one. I told him about my everlasting love for reading, especially the classics, and spoke of my mutual love for all that nature had to offer us. We were getting along pretty well, much better than I had with anyone in a long time.

"Isn't that what you're supposed to do when you're trying to get to know someone? Besides, if I wasn't asking all the questions and blabbering on and on about myself, I'd be willing to bet we'd be walking along this trail in silence. I find it much more enjoyable to have company. It seems to make the hike faster." That was true; we had already been about a mile since he caught up with me at the creek.

"Well, I'm sorry. I hope you don't take offense, I'm not much of a conversationalist. If you hadn't already guessed, I do most things alone." I was kind of embarrassed to admit that to him, to be honest. Not to mention, it's hard enough to breathe with him being in the same place as me. Add a four mile hike to the mix and I'm flustered AND out of breath. Not a healthy combination, but I'd prayed he'd already assumed I was just breathless from the terrain. After all, we were on one of the more difficult trails in the park.

"I might've gathered that, yes...but I also have a pretty good feeling that you're having fun with me. I may have startled you at first, barging in on your plans to be out here all at one with nature and whatnot, but you've gotta admit, you don't mind my being here much anymore." He looked over at me with a challenging look, daring me to disagree with him, and I had to look away to process just how beautiful he was before I could manage a response. His face was glistening, and I could see a line of sweat right above his lips that were curved just slightly at the corners that I could very well take care of for him. His hair was in an even bigger mess than normal and it made me wonder how bad mine must look, but I decided not to worry about it. What you get is what you see, and besides, we're not trying to impress each other here.

"You know, arrogance isn't really your forte. You should save that for the girls who like that sort of thing. I can assure you, this one doesn't." No need to add to his ego, and I don't need him thinking I have a crush on him either. Daddy warned me about boys, and as pretty as he was, he wouldn't settle for the likes of me anyhow.

"There's a fine line between arrogance and confidence, Bella Swan. But when I'm around you, I'll try to keep them both in check...for your sake." He winked at me. This boy just winked at me! I'm about to ask him if he's been hanging out with Daddy. Only old men do stuff like that anymore. He did seem a little beyond his time though. I guess his name really does fit.

I didn't know how to react to that, and because I'm so mature, obviously, I just stuck my tongue out at him. He then proceeded to make some loud obnoxious sound that I soon learned was laughter, and boy was Edward Cullen laughing...at me.

"Did you just stick your tongue out at me? What are you, five?" He continued to giggle.

"You just winked at me! What are you, fifty?" His eyes were twinkling as he looked over at me while we walked. I was kind of enjoying being caught up in his stare until suddenly I wasn't. All I saw was a blur of green before everything went black.

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Thanks for reading.

-sally


	6. Be Still, My Heart

Hello, all! I hope everyone in the US had a safe and happy 4th! I'd like to say thank you for all the love this story has received, especially within the last week! A special thank you goes out to Tarbecca for recommending STH on another fanfic site, ADF! I never would've expected to be recommended between readers on this site, much less somewhere else! Needless to say, you all continue to amaze and overwhelm me with your appreciation. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

I do not own Twilight, but I did just get back from camping/celebrating the 4th where Edward and Bella are currently hiking! :)

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 _"Mama! Mama, wake up!" The smell of cigarette smoke and stale beer was nauseating, but I couldn't escape it. I begged her. I begged her to get up. I wanted her to come outside and play with me. She never came outside to play. It didn't look like she was going to today either. She was passed out cold on the couch, a now-empty bottle of pills barely in her grasp. She needed to wake up. Why wasn't she waking up? Where is Daddy? I need him. I need him so bad. "Wake up, wake up!"_

I'm hearing myself say the words as though I'm there in the room, reliving that devastating day all over again. It's been a while since I've had a nightmare about Renee, though they used to happen a lot. My thoughts are hazy, and it takes me a minute to realize it's no longer my voice I hear saying, "wake up," but someone else's. I suddenly feel the pounding in my head and when I try to open my eyes, I see a blur of copper. As my view comes into focus, I see the most captivating creature staring back at me with the most worried expression.

"Bella! Bella, are you okay? Please, for the love of God, say something!" He shouted. His voice, although a few octaves higher than it should be, is like music to my ears, and I am instantly soothed. I know it's Edward staring back at me, but the feeling in his arms right now is just too damn good. I find myself wanting to draw my coming to consciousness out, just so I can continue to feel the electricity coursing through my body from his touch. Guess the ice cream wasn't spiked. Nope, it's just him. All him. And I am doomed.

"Bella, if you don't say anything, I'm going to call an ambulance," he warned. His concern is flattering. Maybe I should put him out of his misery.

"Edward? A little close for comfort, are we?" He takes a second to notice how close we are and I see his face flush as I see his eyes scan my body. _What is that about?_

"I'm sorry, Bella. You took quite the fall. It was pure instinct to gather you in my arms, though I see how that could've been a serious mistake had you been terribly hurt. I sincerely apologize, Bella. I didn't know what to do and I panicked." He held onto me as he helped me stand up. I could still feel the tingly sensation even after he let me go. It was as if the cells in my body were alive and on fire, burning only for him.

"Of course I fell. Heck, I'm surprised I survived the trail this long. Don't apologize though, Edward. I should be thanking you. What if you hadn't joined me on this hike and that had happened while I was alone? Who knows when I would've woken up?" His eyebrows rose immediately.

"Good point, Swan. From now on, I will be your hiking escort. No more hiking alone. I won't even talk if you're coming for the peace. I just don't want to see you hurt." If I didn't know any better, I'd say Edward was the most compassionate person I'd ever met.

"Only if you promise that the other hikes we go on won't be filled with so many questions. I thought we were speed dating for a while there." I chanced a look over at him to gauge his reaction at my mention of the word "dating." I knew the tips of his ears had to be burning from how red they were getting. What he said next shocked me though.

"Now that wouldn't have been so bad, would it?" He was such a tease, but even though I knew he was joking, I couldn't risk eye contact.

"It would've been bad when you wanted to move onto the next one and there was no one out here to be next." Ha. Got him, there.

"Who said I would want to?" Before I even looked at him, I knew he was smiling. It was going to be one of those smiles that streched across his whole face and lit up his eyes like a Christmas tree. Sure enough, when I looked his way, I thought I'd go blind from the happiness radiating from him.

"Shut it, Cullen. Your moves ain't gonna work on me. I might've just taken a blow to the head, but I'm not crazy." Defense mechanism... Deny, deny, deny...whenever possible.

"Ah, you couldn't handle me anyhow, Bella. Cullen men are not for the lighthearted." His megawatt smile was on overload now. He was really getting a kick out of himself. I was beginning to notice that Edward loved making me squirm.

"You remember that thing I said about arrogance? Your head's big enough, it should've been able to store that information. That line between confidence and cockiness? I believe you just crossed it...again. _Big surprise."_ There was no way I was going to fuel his already mountainous ego. Gosh, what is it with guys?

"Hey, if I remember correctly, you were the one falling for me not ten minutes ago. That was quite a stroke on my ego."

"No, Edward, I fell because it's in my genetics because stupid Renee had to pass all her useless traits onto me. She didn't leave me with anything good." Can you say word vomit? I don't usually go off on rants like that about her. Maybe it's just the flashback getting to me, but now I was going to have to go there. With Edward.

"Who the heck is "Renee?" He was looking at me all inquisitively with his brows furrowed the way they were when I was zoned out in front of his ice cream stand.

"Renee is who you would call my mother, but she's a pretty pitiful excuse for one since I haven't seen her in nine years." I watched his face flood with pity and in an instant, I knew I was already done with this conversation. I will not have another person in this town feeling sorry for me.

"Bella, I-"

"Stop. Just don't say anything. I know you're sorry and I know "it must suck," and all that. I've heard it all, and I'd really appreciate it if you'd save me from hearing another one of those lame speeches. It's like that's all I've heard since she left, and I don't need to be told how sorry you feel for me. I don't need anyone, not even you, feeling sorry for me, Edward. I am doing just fine, if not better, without her. Okay?" I could feel the rise in my blood pressure, the heat in my face. I wasn't embarrassed, though. I got over the embarrassment years ago when I realized there was nothing to be embarrassed about. There was nothing I had done, and there was nothing I could do. But I was angry. Angry that I had to bring her stupid name up. She ruined absolutely everything and she wasn't even here.

"Okay, Bella, but just so you know, I wasn't going to say any of those things. Though I do wish she had done better by you, I find you to be one of the most intriguing people I have ever met, and I don't doubt for a second that you're wonderful, with or without her. I do apologize that it came up though." He was no longer looking at me with pity, but with something else I couldn't quite distinguish. Anything was better than another guilty stare. I knew he was sincere in his words, and for that I appreciated him.

"It's okay, Edward. I knew you'd hear about it soon enough, especially since we'll be at the same school and all. Word travels fast around here, faster than you know it. It's why I was here today doing this alone. I don't make friends."

"So does this mean that I should consider myself lucky?" He asked.

"What do you mean? What would you be lucky for?" This boy is always going off on some tangent and I have to somehow find a way to keep up.

"I'm lucky...to be your friend."

"And just who said we were friends?" If he can tease, so can I.

"Well, we sure aren't strangers anymore. You and I are on a first name basis! Besides, I just saved your life! That's got to count for something." I had to admit, he made a good point. I didn't see myself ever being able to deny him anything anyway.

"I guess it wouldn't be completely painful having you as a friend, especially if it includes more of your ice cream. How'd you get into that anyway?" I was still finding it hard to believe that Edward and I met at an ice cream stand, of all places.

"It's kind of a long story. When I was little and lived here, my family would go to my grandparents' house on Sundays and my grandmother would have homemade ice cream for everyone. My grandparents ended up passing away a few years ago, which began our plans to move back here. They left their home to my mom, so we decided to return here and live in their old house. So many good memories were made here that we all felt it was the best decision for us, even if it meant leaving friends behind. We knew about the festival Pine Cove has every year, so my Mom's idea to keep my grandparents' memory alive was to run an ice cream stand and share my grandma's recipe with the whole town, even if it was just for a day."

As I listened to the warmth in Edward's voice and watched his facial expressions as he talked about his family, I knew immediately that very few people I had met were able to love others as much as he was capable of. For a moment, it made me miss the days where my own family was one, but I only let that feeling possess me for a moment before I pushed it aside and smiled at him.

"That's really an amazing thing for your family to do, Edward. It's very clear to me how much you love them. And to think my Daddy had to beg me to work the festival. You really are something to be admired, Edward Cullen." I found myself looking at him from under my lashes and could feel the heat of my blush from my own words. Any minute now, all my emotions would consume me if I didn't get a grip.

"Well, thank you, Bella. I can't say I'm sorry that you're the first friend I've made since moving back home, either. You're very real to me, very straight forward, but also able to keep me guessing at the same time. I like that." For once, I felt myself able to take a compliment.

"Hey, that's all from growing up with my Daddy. He always says, "What you get is what you see," and I've been living by that for as long as I can remember." People can think what they want, say what they want, but I'm not changing for nobody.

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Thanks for reading.

-sally


	7. Drowning in Your Leaving

Hello, all! Wow, it's been a long few weeks! I know you're all eager to read, so I'll make this note short and sweet! A very special thank you goes to Cared for featuring my story on the ficststers website. I have received so much love in the past two days that I'm drowning in it! (Willingly, of course. :)) Another thank you goes out to twilly for the absolutely perfect banner she made for STH so that it could be featured on FicSisters! Thank you, thank you, thank you for everything, y'all! And to my new readers, followers, etc: welcome and thanks for joining the ride!

I do not own Twilight, but let the reading commence anyway!

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You ever heard that saying, "time passes quickly while you're having fun?" Well, I'm beginning to believe it must be true because before I knew it, I had less than a month before I had to go back to school. The past few weeks felt like a dream-a really, really good dream. All of my free time was spent with Edward. I'm not sure how it happened, but he had weaseled his way into my little bubble of a life. It started out with just hiking together a time or two, but quickly morphed into him coming over while Daddy was at work. One minute, I was spending my summer days alone with the Bronte sisters; the next, I was making Edward and I peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. It didn't take long for us to settle into a routine, for Edward was persistent about us hanging out, and me, well, I just couldn't say "no" to the boy. Although, I did find it in me to say no to him about one thing.

"Seriously, Bella, why are you so opposed to coming over to my place? Don't get me wrong, I don't mind coming over here at all. I love hanging out here with you, but really, why can't you come to my house sometime?" This wasn't the first time he had asked me this. As a matter of fact, I've grown almost immune to the question over the last few weeks. Edward was adamant that I come over to his house and hang out with him. He wanted to show me his room, his piano, his whatever, and that all would've been great because I'm not going to lie; I'm curous about all those things and I'd love to invade his personal space. However, there's just one tiny little problem, one teensy weensy little setback: I don't want to meet Edward's family. No, I take that back. I would love to meet Edward's family... I just don't want them to meet me.

You see, Edward has told me a few things about his family since meeting him, and they sound like really lovely people. How could they not? They're related to Edward, after all. I would imagine they'd be perfect even if Edward had never said a thing about them. The problem is, well, _me_. Edward seems to think I'm great, he seems to think I'll fit right in and that his family will absolutely adore me. But of course he's going to say something like that, right? I mean, you kind of have to in that sort of situation. While it's flattering that he tells me that, I just can't find it in myself to believe it.

I feel as though I pale in comparison to the truly wonderful person that Edward is. If he's that great, how am I going to look in an entire household of people just like him? From what I hear, the Cullen's are dying to meet me. Apparently his sister Alice is under the impression that we're going to be "the best of friends" if only he would bring me over so we can meet. She's practically been harassing him about it, to the point of threatening to figure out where I live and driving to my house to steal me away herself, but I've warned him that I'll consider our friendship over if that happens. So obviously he's kept her at bay, but I'm starting to think I can't let my insecurities fight my battles any longer.

"Edward, we've been over this. When you come over here, we don't have to deal with my Daddy. He's always at work and out of our way. If I go to your house, we're going to be around an entire household of people who, no offense or anything, sound like they can't wait to get their paws on me. I don't know about you, but that sounds pretty terrifying to me. You know I'm not a people person." I've been using the same excuse every time he asks and even I'm beginning to get tired of hearing it. Not to mention, Edward has resorted to begging, and his puppy dog face is damn near irresistable, just like everything else about him. I know I'm fighting a losing battle, but I'm still stubborn enough to try.

"I know you're not, Bella, but look how much you've opened up with me. It wouldn't hurt you to get to know some other people, and besides that, Alice would really like to make a friend before we start school. You of all people know how it is to not be social, but Alice isn't like that. She needs friends and I kind of agree that you two will hit it off. You're going to meet her eventually anyway, and when you do, you'll learn to never again bet against Alice. Sometimes she just knows things, and there might be no way to explain it, all you know is it's true. Come on, Bella. Take a chance on it. Take a chance on me."

Sometimes I wonder if Edward even hears the words that come out of his own mouth because if he did, he might choose them more wisely. Another part of me thinks he knows exactly what he's saying and damn near everything it's doing to me. I know he at least recognised some of it, and as if it were right on cue, my tell-tale blush was rising from my chest up my neck and I watched his eyes take a quick peek but dart right back up to my face as if they had never left mine. The emotions I saw behind them told me different though; Edward was very manipulative when it came to me, and very persistent in getting his way in all things. I couldn't wait to see how he handled everyone at school. I knew the girls would be swooning at the sight of him, falling right at his feet, just like I did. I take that back, I could definitely wait for school to start... I wasn't prepared to witness that.

"I don't understand. You act like we're dating and you're taking me home to "meet the parents" and all that. I didn't know it was a requirement for your parents to get to know all of your friends. It's not like I'm even that special." I could tell as soon as I spoke that I had hurt him. His eyes immediately lost their excitement from playing his game in getting his way and were quickly filled with anger.

"Not special? Really, Bella? You're the first friend I've made since moving back here, wait no, you're the ONLY friend, and you think that's not special?" Oh he was pissed, really pissed, and I didn't quite understand it. It's not like I was saying these things to offend him on purpose.

"Yeah, well maybe you haven't made any other friends because you're spending all of your time with me. Honestly, Edward, you could be hanging out with anyone you wanted and those people would probably love to come over to your house and hang out." This was escalating rapidly and I didn't even know why I couldn't just give in and let him have his way. It's not like I thought meeting his family would be painful, but I didn't know if I could take it if they didn't approve. Not to mention, if Alice was intuitive as Edward said she was, she'd pick up on my crush on him in a heartbeat, and there was no way I could let that happen.

"Okay, Bella, because they're all just lined up at my door waiting to hang out with me, but I'm too busy hanging out with you. Why can't you just accept that you're who I want to spend my time with? You don't trust that I wouldn't bring you into a situation that would make you uncomfortable, and that's a problem. Yeah, you might be nervous around everyone at first because that's just the way introductions are, but I wouldn't be so insistent on you coming over if I didn't think you'd fit right in with my family. I've came over so many times with no complaints, but every time I mention you coming to my house in the slightest, you immediately flinch and the conversation is lost. To be honest, I'm a little tired of it, and I think it's about time for me to go home."

This conversation was turning into every other good thing that went bad around me and I didn't know how to make it stop. It's like my life is built around this cycle of people leaving and the only thing I can do is sit back and watch. I am haunted with the thought of the people I love just disappearing from my life as if they never existed. I smelled the tear on my face before I ever felt it fall. Edward was making his way to the door and I was stuck where I was sitting on the couch, completely paralyzed by painful memories that were desperate to take me under. I heard the door open and latch again, and as if the sound were the flood gate to my tears, I was left to drown.

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Thanks for reading.

-sally


	8. Bella Swan: a Monologue

Hello, people! I'm back! :) Much apologies for such a gap between updates. School is back in session and officially kicking my butt. I hope my readers who are also in school have had a wonderful start to their semester! Just wanted to let you guys know, because of my now super hectic schedule, updates will be coming less often, maybe once a month or more if I'm lucky, but I haven't forgotten about this little story of mine. The good thing about less updates is that I plan to add more length to the chapters because your patience is well-deserving of that! This update is short out of my desperation to get something to you and also for the flow of the story. Okay, I'll shut up now!

I do not own Twilight, but I do own this frazzled, neurotic little version of Bella! :)

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Two weeks. 14 days, 336 hours, 20,160 minutes...yeah, you get the picture. Two slowly passing, agony-filled weeks have come and gone since I watched Edward Cullen walk out of my house, but more importantly, out of my life. Isn't it supposed to feel better as time goes on? Am I not going to feel good again? I hate to think that I feel this badly all because of one person. It's also painful to think that I had never felt so _good_ before he came around. It had been so long since I had felt pure joy. Happiness is great when you experience it for yourself, but to have another alongside of you, smiling, laughing, just simply _being._.. It's indescribable. How can one human effect the life of another so strongly? Are we really so weak that we are controlled, motivated, moved by other individuals more than we are able to be within ourselves? I would certainly like to think not, but then again, here I am.

I'm not quite sure when it happened. I used to think there would be this moment in time, a specific instant where everything shifted and things just became the way they should be without reason. Like the universe had it all planned out, the only thing left was to wait. And maybe if I knew when that precise moment was as it was happening, I wouldn't be here. I could have prepared myself to be good for him, or at least prepared myself for the misery that would consume me once he inevitably left. What's that saying? "You never really know what you have until it's gone?" I can't say I'm experienced in this type of thing, but I can say that in my case, that statement could never be more true.

The better, more logical part of me knows nothing could have ever prepared me for falling in love with Edward Cullen. No walls I could have built would have been able to keep out the overwhelming sense of bliss that permeated through me when he was near. I was doomed from the very moment I chose to walk up to that Cullen Creamery stand. And to think all this would have never happened had I not been forced to work that stupid festival in the first place. It's not like I can be mad at Daddy though. No one could have ever predicted that Edward and I would meet, much less become as close as we are, or rather, as we were. Today, he feels like a stranger from a distant life I could have had if I had played my cards right. Instead, I chose to play it safe and not bet against my own bad luck.

Though it has crossed my mind many times, I haven't called him. At least, not that he knows. I may have slipped once or twice and called his phone, only to hear his voice and immediately hang up. Does that make me crazy? I don't think so, but regardless if it did, I've heard many say that love drives people to do some off-the-wall things, so there's my excuse. Part of me knows that I could easily make this better. All Edward wanted was to be my friend. He wanted to share his life with me and by doing that, share more of himself with me, and I didn't let him. Instead, I chose to protect myself, in turn making him feel rejected. It's kind of funny how it ended up that way because I always thought I would be on the losing end if he and I ever went separate ways. I defintely feel like a loser now, but I figured he would eventually outgrow me and I would be left in the dust. Either way, I lose.

Despite the fact that I haven't been able to come to my senses and go to him, I have at least been able to come to my senses and admit that I am wrong. This is all completely my fault, and that's why it hurts so badly. I know it could be different if only I had the strength within me to try. After all, how does one who loves another so deeply just let he or she walk away?

That question in particular invades my thoughts more than I would like to admit, mostly because it hits so close to home. I find myself dwelling on the past more often here lately, having constant doubts about the person I thought I was. When Renee left, I was a kid with no power to stop her. She made the decision as an adult to leave; no one could tell her what to do. I've told myself every day since that I would never walk out on someone I loved the way that she did. I would never stoop to her level and run from problems I didn't want to face. I would never take the easy way out. Yet here I am, feeling as though I'm doing the same thing to Edward. I may not have been the one to walk out his front door, but I might as well have when I sat there and just watched him go. I have a voice and I had the ability to try and stop him, but I didn't. I let him down, but most of all, I let myself down.

For years, I have struggled with the burden of Renee's leaving. I've watched Daddy be a father to me on one hand, but on another, struggle to be a mom to me too. I've felt the guilt of being a helpless kid, not having enough understanding of the situation to be able to talk to Daddy about it even if I wanted to. I've also felt the pain of growing older and seeing our family for what it really is and the damage it did to him. I've spent the last eight years trying to cope with the idea that my existence could've been the downfall of everything. Everyone knows that having a child can either make or break a marriage; what if I'm the cause of my parents' unhappiness?

There are things in this life that we are given control over such as our bodies, our minds, our choices, our words; everything else is a matter of chance. We aren't held responsible for our existence, but we can control what we do with it. I'm a small town girl living my life without a mother who left me, but that fact is only one thing about me. Though it does contribute to much of who I am, it isn't what defines me. At least, it isn't if I don't let it.

Tomorrow is the first day of school. Senior year. Am I the only one who shivers at those two words? Not because they sound good at all, but actually because they sound absolutely miserable. I guess the bright side is that it's the last year, and then I'm out of here! That wasn't supposed to rhyme. But back to the real point.

Tomorrow is the first day of school. Tomorrow I will be forced to see Edward whether I like it or not. More importantly, whether he likes it or not-which he probably won't because he's probably forgotten all about me and hates the blurry bits and pieces he remembers. Who am I to blame him? I never understood why he hung out with me anyway. Despite how I feel about all that, maybe I'll get a chance to talk to him. Maybe I'll just walk up to him, look him right in the eye, and blurt out, "I'm sorry!" And he'll be looking back at me and say it at the same time I do. Then, we'll laugh at the silliness of the moment and he'll smile at me until I'm drunk on the sight of him. He'll scoop me into his arms and steal me away into the setting sun.

Or not. Because when do things like that ever happen? To me, anyway? Never, that's when. So until I feel myself being lifted in the air by the most perfect pair of arms I've ever had the pleasure of laying my perfectly boring brown eyes on, I'll be expecting the worst-but ever so hopeful for the best.

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Thanks for reading.

-sally


	9. If I Should Die of a Heart Attack

Hi! A quickie because I love you all!

I do not own Twilight, but I do love a good cliffhanger :)

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 _"Bella! Bella, baby, it's time to get up." My dreams quickly faded as Mama's voice crept in from the distance. "Bella, come on, I've gotta have you at school in thirty so you need to get ready quick. I missed the alarm again," she said. Well that's just great. Another morning of rushing to get dressed because Mama can't wake up to an alarm clock. Isn't she supposed to be the adult here? I don't understand how she can't get up, it's not like she doesn't get enough sleep. She practically lives in her pajamas. "Bella..."_

"Bella! Now, Bells you need to get on up, your alarm is going off. You don't want to be late on your first day of senior year, now do you?" I heard daddy ask. I was too busy recalling my dream of Renee-or should I say nightmare-to form a response right away. Ever since the fall out with Edward, they've occurred more and more. I hardly get any sleep from tossing and turning all night in effort to escape her.

"Yeah, Daddy, I'm up, and of course not! You know I'm just thrilled about the first day of school, just as every other year," I mumbled.

"And that's why you and I get along, Bells: mutual appreciation for sarcasm. Now, get up. I've already filled up your truck for the week, and there's lunch money for you on the kitchen table. Don't forget it," he exclaimed as he walked out of my room. I may have been born with a pitiful excuse for a mother, but I believe I was born with the best Daddy in the world. I couldn't help but smile to myself as I got out of bed and headed for the bathroom to shower.

As the water poured over me, I thought about the day ahead. Why the heck did I wait two weeks to try to talk to Edward? I easily could've tried to talk to him in private, but no, I chose to be a pansy and now I could possibly be doing it in front of everyone at school. Why am I going to school again? Life would be so much easier without the place.

While getting ready, I tried to come up with a game plan. It quickly became the "Win Edward Back Plan," WEBP for short. If I end up in a class with him, I could easily sit beside him and slip a note asking him to talk after school. If I wasn't lucky and ended up having lunch the same period as him, I could try to get him to sit with me. It's not likely that'll happen though because he will probably have made more friends in the first day than I have since growing up in this town my whole life. Some people just have it so much easier than others. There's no way I'll approach him if he's at a table with other people, so I might as well rule that one out.

The more I thought about it, the more unappealing the thought of school became. I started to think moving away and never thinking of Edward again might be a safer idea. Regardless, I still made my way to school, mostly because I knew Daddy would have my ass if I didn't.

I pulled into the parking lot of Forks High at 7:45. School started at 8 so I had 15 minutes before I needed to be seated in class and ready for an undoubtably long and stressful day. Being a student has never been a problem for me. I'm pretty good at every subject so getting good grades has never been a problem. Making friends has always been the challenge. I've found that most of the people I relate to have often been in books. I've spent far too much time romanticizing about fictional heroes that don't exist, mostly because they're much more interesting than anyone I've encountered in the real world. I'm pretty sure that's my problem. I guess I'm a little stuck up? And insecure. Definitely insecure.

I had never been truly intrigued by a person until Edward, and boy did he take me by storm. You know how a hurricane will come through and leave nothing behind but a devastating mess? Well, my heart resided in the eye of Hurricane Edward, and when he left I couldn't do anything but stay and fight the winds that followed.

At 7:55 I decided it was probably a good time to walk to class. Most people had already walked into school, so it lessened my chances of running into anyone I didn't care to see, at least for a little longer. I chanced a look around the parking lot along the way, and sure enough, I saw a shiny silver volvo parked just a few rows down from where my trusty red chevy sat. I wondered if he was already there when I arrived and if he had noticed my presence too.

My first class was advanced calculus. I'm not sure what I was thinking last year when I signed myself up for a math course first thing in the morning. It's not like I'm terrible at math, but it requires much more thinking from me than the other classes I'm in and who wants to rack their brain at 8 in the morning?

When I walked into the classroom, most of my classmates were already seated because it was almost time for class to start. I felt their familiar unenthused glances as I made my way to a seat in the middle of the classroom. It had always been like that for me. I had never been the girl to grasp the attention of everyone in the room and hold it for long, not that I would notice if they did. I always kept my head down, eyes focused on my feet and the path they were making. It was better this way because you never knew when I was going to lose my balance and fall over some invisible rope. It was also better because I didn't want to know the reactions I evoked in my peers. They were only temporary faces in my life, none of which I felt any sort of attachment to.

The teacher went on and on about the syllabus and what was to be expected of us throughout the semester. Apparently AP Calc was a big deal because I happened to tune in during some of his outbursts of enthusiasm, although I hadn't paid attention enough to catch his name. It would have to wait for tomorrow.

When math was over, I made my way to the English building. Finally, a class with some substance. I was one of the first to arrive so I chose a seat near the window. The natural light that entered the room through the blinds gave me a bit of the comforting feeling that resided within me when I wrote outside. A few minutes later, it seemed that everyone that would be in the class was there and our teacher, Mrs. Mays, shut the door. She was the one teacher at Forks High that I actually had a semi-relationship with. She was always leaving supportive notes at the end of my work telling me that I could really go somewhere with the subject someday, which fueled all of my respect and like for her. She had just walked back to her desk when there was a knock. As the door opened, I wished more than anything that I had kept my head down, for a familiar head of coppery brown hair was visible just behind her. Lucky for me, Mrs. Mays head shielded my view from the perfect sculpture that is Edward Cullen's face.

I quickly put my head down after I recovered from the shock. I barely heard Edward's excuse for being late, something about getting used to the layout of the school. She told him it was fine of course, as he was a new student, and told him to take a seat. I thought my heart would beat out of my chest when I was suddenly enveloped in his scent. I casually took a quick glance around the room and came to a conclusion.

Edward had taken the last seat available in our tiny classroom, and it just so happened to be right behind me.

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Thanks for reading.

-sally


	10. Brown, Green, and the Unsaid Inbetween

So, before we get started, let me acknowledge what I already know.

I suck. Majorly.

The truth is that college is hard and so is being an English major. It's even more difficult to find brain matter to write for fun when your professors are controlling your life, one essay at a time. So yes, it's been hard for me to think about this story because I haven't felt like writing. I can promise you that this story will be finished, but it'll be done at my pace, whatever that is. Thank you all for even clicking on this update. You're the best.

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I've always been a firm believer in the saying "Everything happens for a reason." Sometimes things happen, and while we can't always explain them, I think there's always a justifiable cause, even if we don't understand it. Maybe we aren't meant to. Right now, I'm thinking that's all a load of crap, and I need the universe to tell me why it enjoys torturing me so much.

Edward was so close that I could hear his breathing. His sounded much less labored than mine; I probably sound like I'm suffering from an asthma attack, but then again, maybe that's all in my head. What I do know is that my face is the shade of my Daddy's ripest tomatoes in the summer, which means my neck and my chest are as well. Why did I have to wear my hair up today? I'm sure he can see just how affected by him I am, even from behind me. If he even notices me, that is.

Edward Cullen is seated behind me. I haven't heard a single thing Mrs. Mays has said since he sat down. Luckily, I've had her as a teacher a couple of times and her syllabus tends to be similar for each class. It's all pretty basic except for... Oh no.

"Okay, everyone! I'd like you to rearrange your desks into a circle. We're going to go around the room and introduce ourselves since we have a new student joining us this year. I'd like for each of you to say your name and share the most exciting thing you did over the summer!" said my ex-favorite teacher. How convenient that Edward and I would share the one class with a teacher cheesy enough to make us talk about our summers. She does this at the beginning of every year, but usually it's far less painful, as you can imagine.

"Mike, why don't we start with you?"

"Okay! Hi, guys! It's good to see everyone again. Most of you know my name is Mike Newton. While y'all may think this is lame, it's definitely the best thing that happened to me over the summer. My Dad promoted me to an assistant manager at the store, so I got a raise!" Mike's family owned the general store in Forks. They sold anything from camping supplies to chainsaws. I worked there for a few weeks last summer because Daddy suggested I would have more money to buy books if I earned my own money, but my time there didn't last long. Mike started actually noticing my existence at work but still pretended I was invisible at school, so I told him to stick it where the sun don't shine. Of course, that only spurred him on more. What is it with men liking feisty women? Anyway, when that didn't work, I reminded him that my Daddy was a cop, and I wasn't afraid to let him know his daughter was being harassed. He hasn't spoken to me since, which is quite all right with me.

Mrs. Mays continued to urge my classmates on, and before I could come up with any rational way to escape, it was my turn. I didn't know if my face could get any redder, but I knew it was trying. I wasn't one for talking in class unless I was prompted, much like my current situation, so it was very unusual for both me and my classmates to hear my voice. To my surprise, when I looked up, I actually had a few people's attention. If I could just think of what to say, I might get noticed for once.

"Hi, everyone. I'm Bella. Bella Swan. I did a lot of fun things over the summer, so it's kind of hard to narrow it down to one thing. I guess my favorite thing is something I do all the time, which is hiking at Hanging Rock," I managed to mumble.

"I didn't know you liked hiking, Bella!" Mike called out.

"Yeah, I do...why do you think I chose a job at your family's store? I like being outside so a place that sells outdoor supplies just made sense," I replied.

"Well, maybe we should go-"

"How about you two finish your conversation later, if you'd both like to" Mrs. Mays interrupted while looking straight at me when she said the last part. I sensed that she noticed my disinterest in Mike. Thank goodness she got me out of that one...for now. "I don't know about you all, but I'd really like to hear about our new student!"

It was Edward's turn, and if I didn't know any better, I would say he was staring right at me. I could just feel his eyes on me from the way my hair was beginning to stand up on the back of my neck. Too bad I was too scared to look.

"Well, guys, my name is Edward Cullen. I also did a lot of things this summer that were fun, but I would have to agree with Bella. Hiking definitely makes the top of my list." When I heard him say those words, I couldn't help but look up, and to no surprise, brown eyes met green and I was lost.

Edward and I went hiking a lot over the summer. It was our favorite thing to do. He hadn't been to Hanging Rock since he was a kid, so he couldn't remember much about it. I spent many days refreshing his mind with him. I knew how much I loved being with him on those days just being ourselves in the fresh air, but I never would have guessed he felt the same. For a moment, I thought I would cry, but then I remembered where I was. I managed to break eye contact with Edward to make a quick scan around the room. Embarrassment immediately flooded me when I realized all eyes in the room were bouncing between Edward and I in attempts to decipher our silent conversation. The tension in the room was beyond palpable. All of my heightened senses made me feel as if I was on fire.

And then the bell rang.

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thanks for reading.

-sally


	11. The Sinister, Smiling Sister

I surprised myself after I posted the last update. I'm beginning to find myself in this story again, so I decided another update was in order. I'm sure many of you have been waiting for the moment that will soon be revealed in this chapter... A meeting with one of my favorite characters in all of Twilight. Enjoy!

I do not own Twilight, nor do I have a feisty little sister, but someone does... ;)

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Before I could think about my next move, Edward had rearranged his desk and quickly made his way out the door. All of my hopes of approaching him vanished, but considering the fact that I had no idea what I would have said if given the chance, I decided I was probably better off taking some time to think. In order to do that, I would have to be out of his vicinity; there's no way I could think clearly while being in his presence today.

My classmates were out the door along with me, neither of them having the nerve to ask about the exchange between Edward and I. Once again, I was thankful to be invisible. Besides, if they had enough patience, it would all be revealed eventually. I had no doubt in my mind that Edward had the attention of every girl in class though I hadn't been able to look away from him myself long enough to know for sure. If he was still the Edward I knew, he was going to be very tired of all the eyes by the end of the day. Then again, who knows? Maybe the past couple weeks had changed him, but I didn't let myself consider that for long.

My next class was sewing, something I had absolutely no interest in whatsoever, but it was a better option than team sports. I figured it would be filled with a bunch of girls who were fashion-obsessed, just dying to make their own clothes. I would be lucky to make it out of class without a puncture wound from a needle on my first day. Thankfully, I had lunch during the middle of the period so I would at least be a little relieved halfway through.

I walked into the classroom and found that I was right. The estrogen level was mighty high with no boys in sight. As glad as I was to not see Edward or the suddenly-interested-in-my-life Mike, a class with only females wasn't very appealing either. It would have to do. The class was set up with tables instead of desks so I took a seat at the only one that was empty, at least for the time being. About a minute before the bell rang, a dark-haired girl practically bounced into the room and sat in a chair on the other side of my table. Not being one for conversation, I kept my head down until our teacher, Mrs. Wilson started calling roll.

I said "Here," when she called my name, and I swear I heard a snap as the girl who chose to sit with me jerked her head in my direction. As we made eye contact for the first time, I noticed that she looked familiar, but I couldn't place where I knew her from. She was blatantly staring at me while I watched a mix of emotions flash across her face: disbelief, curiosity, and I'd swear a trace of annoyance. I looked away from her to avoid the awkwardness and started listening to Mrs. Wilson finish calling the roll.

"Well, it looks like we have a new student added to the bottom of the list. Do we have an Alice Cullen in the room?" Mrs. Wilson asked. _Oh no. It couldn't be._

The girl who was seated across from me looked right into my eyes as she said, "Why, yes you do! Here I am!" She smiled in a way that I was absolutely positive was not meant to be friendly. In fact, I'd say it was downright evil.

"Welcome to the class, Alice! We are beyond happy to have you," Mrs. Wilson exclaimed. _Speak for yourself,_ I thought. What are the odds that I would leave one class in hopes to think clearly about one Cullen, only to go to my next class and run into another? This school year was going to be the death of me.

"Okay, everyone! Listen up. I'm not going to go through the whole boring syllabus thing because I know you've already heard it twice and will probably hear it again when you leave for your next class. Instead, I'm going to talk to you about your final project for this course that you will be responsible for working on throughout the semester so it will be completed and ready to present to the class at the end. Each of you will be assigned a partner which, looking around the room makes sense to be who you are sitting with since you are already separated into pairs. Consider these your assigned seats from now on. You and your partner will be required to make two outfits that you will both model or display, whatever the two of you choose, for the rest of the class. Be wary that this project is a big percentage of your grade, fifty percent to be exact, so maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner is crucial. If any of you have any problems or concerns that you can't seem to work out amongst yourselves, feel free to come talk to me, and I will do my best to mediate. However, you are all seniors in high school, so I expect that to be a last resort. I will pass out guidelines toward the end of class, but for the rest of the period, you are welcome to talk with your partners, maybe bounce around some ideas and get to know one another if you don't already."

Before I could internally whine about anything Mrs. Wilson had to say, my newfound partner started in on me.

"So, you're Bella. I'm Alice. I've been dying to meet you, but you already knew that, right?" She sneered.

"Look, Alice-" I tried.

"Don't 'Look, Alice' me," she interrupted. "I have spent the last however many weeks it has been watching my brother mope around, and do you know why? Hmm? I think you do. Because of you. He just wanted you to know him, Bella. That was all, and you didn't give it a chance," she half-whispered, half-yelled. Any louder and we would have the attention of the rest of the class.

"I'm sorry. I don't know what else you want me to tell you," I said. This girl was an absolute firecracker, and I was in no way prepared for this sort of ambush.

"Tell me why you did it. You know, what surprises me most is that he has made every excuse in the world for you. He seems to think it's not your fault, that you can't help who you are. He has covered for you in every possible way, but I won't settle for it. He won't explain why he's just letting you go, why he's let you ruin him regardless of his own feelings," she exclaimed. I felt my eyes go big at the mention of feelings. She noticed immediately. I swear, the girl didn't miss a thing.

"You're surprised I said 'feelings?' Really? You guys spent almost the entire summer together. He was with you everyday, and when he wasn't, he was talking about you. It was sweet but absolutely disgusting at times. He never came out and said it, but Bella, my brother likes you whether you want to hear that or not. Or at least, he used to. I'm not so sure you deserve it now," she uttered. I thought about her words for a moment and replied with the only thing I could think of.

"I'm not sure I do either," I admitted. "That's the whole reason we got into this mess in the first place. It's much deeper than you think, Alice. I never intended to hurt Edward. I just didn't want to bring him down with me, but I guess I did anyway," I confessed.

"Well, it doesn't have to be like this, Bella. I know Edward, and I've never seen him so caught up in anything before. He's a very passionate guy, poor thing, and he doesn't give up easily. I'm sure you are still somewhere roaming around in his mind. I think it would be worth it for you to find out, that is, if you want to," she challenged. I looked at her and by the forgiving look on her face, I knew she could tell how torn I was. I mean, would it be worth it? Would risking my quiet, invisible life alone be worth giving up to be with Edward? I couldn't even think about being with Edward yet, no matter how much either of us likes one another. We would have to repair our friendship first, if that were possible. I thought about how miserable I had been over the last couple weeks in comparison to how I felt when Edward and I were together, and I knew I was done questioning it. I would have to take the chance.

"Okay, Alice. You've said enough. What do you suppose I do?" I asked. This time, she gave me a smile that was still quite sinister looking, but I could tell she was on my side.

"I thought you'd never ask," she replied, wicked smile still in place.

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Thanks for reading.

-sally


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